MINORITYFEST 2009: This Friday Dec 11th at Glasslands Gallery in NYC!

Minorityfest 2009
FRIDAY, DECEMBER 11, 2009 @ GLASSLANDS (289 Kent Avenue, Brooklyn)
Doors: 7 PM
Cost: $7

Minorityfest 2009 is a ONE NIGHT ONLY multimedia event being held at Glasslands in Brooklyn featuring nationally-recognized artists of color in comedy, music and visual art. While some artists were chosen for the overt or subversive political value of their art, others were invited simply because of the value of their craft and what it brings to the festival. The goal is to highlight amazing and inspirational artists of color who perform in Williamsburg, bring artists to the area who deserve recognition, and hopefully attract a diverse audience to the festival that reflects the talent represented and the nature of this city's population.

The event was conceived as a means of showcasing and connecting various marginalized artists across many media, many of whom create art that serves to either discuss issues of cultural alienation and marginalization or else complicate popular conceptions about their culture by virtue of the very existence of their art.

The festival will begin with a panel discussion comprised of a racially diverse array of artists, academics, comedians and writers discussing what they do and issues they face as artists of color. The panel will be moderated by Himanshu Suri and Ashok Kondabolu of Das Racist and will include Dallas Penn, Julianne Escobedo Shepherd (of the Fader), Jay Smooth (of Ill Doctrine) and Sam Han.

This will be followed by a comedy show featuring comedians Ali Wong, Sheng Wang, Hari Kondabolu, Baron Vaughn, Victor Varnado and Kumail Nanjiani.

The night will continue with musical performances by POPO, Das Racist and Gordon Voidwell.

Rounding out the night are DJ sets from Sabzi of hip hop group, Blue Scholars and rapper Despot (Definitive Jux)
SCHEDULE: - (start times)
PANEL - 8:00 PM
COMEDY 9:30
MUSIC: 11:00
DJ SETS: 2:00 AM

"Lost" Night

I am pasting an apology that was recently sent to me regarding an incident that I was involved in last month in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, NYC. I need to fill in all the details for you and promise to do so sooner than later. For now, you can chew on this apology and my reply. (I've withheld people's names.)

Her apology:

Hi Hari,

[Our mutual friend] shared a few of your comments with me and I hope you can accept my apologies for offending you. Never was my intention to put you in a box or stereotype. Naveen Andrews is an attractive man and I would have hoped you would have taken the resemblance as a compliment. Clearly, you didn't, but as a comedian hopefully you understand jokes don't always go as planned. Sorry again to have caused any harm.

[Name Withheld Because I am not a PETTY asshole]

My response:

Hello [Name Withheld Because I am not a PETTY asshole],

Let me start by saying that I have to deal with bullshit like this constantly. This is not new to me and I no longer blindly accept apologies from people who say thoughtless things and then backtrack when they are called on it. An empty apology from you on facebook, possibly so you can feel better about whatever you think happened or so you can appease your friend, will not cut it. I’m not sure if you and I have the same recollection of the night’s events, so let me personally share my thoughts and you can contemplate for a moment and know what you are actually apologizing for.

Let me first say that I DO NOT look like Naveen Andrews, regardless of how attractive you think he is. I do not look like this other brown man, just like my tall Black friend does not look like Lebron James regardless of how much the moron he works with insists that he does. That’s like me saying Renee Zelwegger and Charlize Theron…or any blonde white actress with shortish hair look alike.
Not only was what you said wrong, but how you chose to say it was fucked up. It wasn’t delivered as a compliment and I didn’t take it as such. You, without looking at or addressing your comments to me, said I was “The guy from Lost.” Me and this fellow from some television series are both just brown-skinned people with long hair. You saw those things first and thoughtlessly made your comment. When my hair was shorter I would hear the names of different brown-skinned celebrities that white people thought I looked like and now that my hair is longer, I’m hit with a new one.

Let me also remind you, that the “joke” you made was at my expense. It was NOT shared BETWEEN us. You made your comment before we had been properly introduced and I was laughed AT. We had not even made eye contact yet. You said it as soon as I walked in the door, and then you introduced yourself a little while later. If you had seen the look on my face when you made the comment initially, perhaps you would have known not to make the same joke again when you called me “Sayid” at the end of the night.

Let me say, that as a comedian…and human being…I try to be sensitive. I try to be deliberate about the words I choose and not make too many assumptions. I can take a joke and I can make one…but I am present when I talk to people and when I do say something that may hurt them, I try to apologize immediately.

In closing, the thought that kept repeating in my mind was “why can’t a dude simply get a drink on a Saturday night without some racist bullshit happening to him?” A very reasonable question.

Now that I have said my piece, if you apologize to me for racist things you said and not for offending me (the onus is on you, not on me), I will accept it, but not otherwise.

-Hari Kondabolu

P.S. I do realize the word “racist” might scare you. That being said, let me clarify that I am NOT calling you a racist. I do not know who you are or what you’ve experienced. However, I do feel what you said was racist and think you need to be called out for it. If you need this to be clarified further, here is a video from my friend Jay Smooth of the Ill Doctrine:

My Major Motion Picture Debut in "All About Steve"

I made my motion picture debut this past September in 20th Century Fox's All About Steve:



"Hari, can you verify this? I'm sure there were a ton of people who claimed to be in this film and even though Imdb does list you as "Crossword Businessman" I want to know for sure."

Fine.

Here is a picture of me in the film, taken by my friend Sam, in a theater in Seattle:


Look at me being all Crossword Businessman-y!

Exciting, right? An Indian male playing a bit comedic part in a major motion picture and I'm in the BACK of a cab. Progress! I am the "Reverse Rosa Parks" of the Indian community. Never to the front again!

I went to this film with four male friends. Everyone else in the audience was either heterosexual couples or middle-aged women. There were maybe 20 people in the theater. It was the first screening of the film on opening night.

And the reviews?

"All About Steve, an unfunny, annoying, badly written, badly acted comic fiasco, may be the worst movie in Bullock's career."
ORLANDO SENTINEL

Worse than Miss Congeniality 2: Armed and Fabulous? Also, isn't comparing Sandra Bullock films like comparing the Holocaust with Slavery? It's disrespectful to the victims of those tragedies to ever make such a comparison!

"A Monstrosity."
SEATTLE POST-INTELLIGENCER

Not a good sign when your film is effectively being compared to a "war crime." (Though perhaps accurate. There is no international law against using this film during interrogations, and even if there was...I'm sure it is being used somewhere to secure confessions.) Also, note how the newspaper has three words in the title and their review only had two.

"It is to comedy what leprosy once was to the island of Molokai: a plague best contemplated from many miles away."
BOSTON GLOBE

Wow, Ty Burr. You must have had that line written somewhere and were waiting for a film horrific enough to justify its use. I refuse to believe this film could possibly lead to something that creative.

I won't give away the plot because I don't want to SPOIL it for you all! Can a piece of shit ...or does it simply turn into manure? Manure that fertilized my fledgling acting career?

Probably not.

6% on Rotten Tomatoes.

6%

6%

I wrote "6" three times because it seemed appropriate for this film.

This film did worse than Leprauchan 5: In The Hood...which somehow came in at 40%.

And I'm in this movie...and am grateful for the opportunity. And also apologetic to all the friends who went out and paid money...in this economy...to see me in it for 5 seconds. You are good people and I love you.

My friends in Minneapolis sat threw the whole thing and noticed that many people actually waited around to watch the end credits of the film. I assume this is either because everyone in the audience knew someone in the film or was so angry that this film existed that they needed to know who to blame...and potentially kill.

Even my parents didn't go out and watch it, even though they patiently waited 2 years for it to come out. They read the reviews. The Ty Burr one sealed the deal. They would wait to rent it...or borrow it from the library....or wait for the TBS Premiere. (TBS would have to change their motto from "Very Funny" to "Very Funny." The italics indicate sarcasm.

The release date kept getting pushed back. The studio knew what they had. And they couldn't wait any longer...and the film was finally defecated on Friday September 4, 2009. The studio did not release it the following Friday, I assume, out of respect for America. Our nation had been through enough on that date.

My SERIOUSLY FUNNY Interview

This is an interview I did in San Francisco with comedian Joe Klocek as part of his "Seriously Funny" interview series. I was in town opening for comedians Joe Wong and Marc Maron at the Punchline.

PART 1:


PART 2:

Busy Week for the Kondabolu Brothers

The Kondabolu Brothers at a wedding. We need a new headshot.

It was a busy week for me and brother Ashok. First, we did our show "The Untitled Kondabolu Brothers Project" at the Tank in NYC's Hell Kitchen with special guest Jay Smooth of Ill Doctrine on my 27th birthday. (I am 27. Holy shit, that's a real number.) Then, we had the pleasure of performing at Bard College at Simon's Rock, our first college gig.

Unfortunately, we don't have clips of those shows up currently...so for now, here is an older clip of me and Ashok talking about mustaches at Capitol Club in Seattle:



Then, Ashok performed with his bandmates Das Racist in the annual CMJ Music Marathon in NYC. He is known as "Dap." His picture was then posted in the NY Times CMJ Slideshow.

From: http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2009/10/23/arts/20091023_CMJTHURS_SLIDESHOW_8.html

Then, the week closed with me performing in front of a fantastic audience at NYU's Skirball Center as part of John Oliver's new TV show, tentatively called "New York Live." The show should air in early 2010.

Bill Hicks' Comedic Philosophy

"Could I recommend some jugglers you might like?"

-Bill Hicks to the BBC Interviewer who just does not understand that comedy does not need to merely be about saying whatever it takes to make any person laugh.

Topps Predicts Barry Bonds' Future

This is a Barry Bonds Topps Kids baseball card from 1992...before Bonds apparently starting doing steroids.

How did you know, Topps?